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Instead, the only physical activity I’ve come close to being good at is running, which is a terrifically shit sport. Like me, they’ve probably had a lifetime of being picked last for sports and dressing terribly but it’s not their fault.

Get to know them and become friends with them and you’ll discover skinny people have lots of other merits.

The only thing worse is when friends realise how weak you are and relegate you to some pitiful role, like pointlessly lifting the middle of a table while the others do the heavy lifting at each end.

Skinny girls never have this problem: they can always ask someone else to do it without losing face.

Seriously, good luck trying to find a pair of 28” trousers, it’s like searching for the Ark of the Covenant.