David is not alone in not listening to his romantic instincts.
I talk to men and women every day who want so much to believe that their current relationship is a good one that they cover their ears and try to drown out what their instincts are telling them.
Gut instincts in relationships can be the most important thing. It’s made up of the same cells found in your brain. This is your intuition telling you something you should heed. They are there to detect things before our conscious brain can see them. Gaslighting distorts your sense of reality and leads you to mistrust your gut. The narcissist responds by telling them: In their vulnerable mind the parent can’t be wrong, so they feel it must be them.
Back in the day, I had a good one who truly changed my life.
One of the points he was always trying to drill into my (sometimes stubborn) head: “Trust your instincts.” Sounds great, but how do you do that exactly? Instincts, in essence, are thoughts you have that are meant to help you survive.
• Withdrawal from friends or family: Detaching from people close to you is a common consequence when your instincts are telling you something you don’t want to hear.
Rather than put yourself in a situation where friends or family could emotionally protect you, you detach from them for fear that they will tell you what you don’t want to hear.
The other thing that can stop you from listening to your gut is when you project onto others. You project onto them your dream of who they might be. If this person is narcissistic you listen to all the incredible things they say.