Next thing you know, you’re drunk-texting He-who-shall-not-be-named, you’re an emotional mess and bing, your phone goes off. You wonder, why can’t he be nice to me like my date? But more importantly, why can’t I stop thinking about him?
A lot of people subscribe to the old saying, “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else,” but when you have been involved in an unhealthy, high intensity relationship, trying to squeeze yourself into a new, normal healthy relationship is like going from a Ferrari to a tricycle, when you’ve got a need for speed. It can’t and all you’ll do is end up feeling worse.
Before you date anyone new, you need to make sure that you have gotten to the bottom of your childhood issues, learned new coping mechanisms, learned how to be mindful of your own thoughts and behavior and learned how to reprogram your brain, so that you aren’t consciously and subconsciously looking for that abusive partner that reminds you of the relationship you had with your primary caregivers.
If you don’t fix this you will continue to exist at the same low emotional energy and you will continue to attract other low emotional energy people and events to you.
You’ve been pining over someone who has, in the blink of an eye, replaced you with someone else. It’s a fantastic boost for your bruised ego and it sure feels nice that someone seems interested in you. You’re flirting, getting to know them a little, they seem cute enough and by the end of the day you’ve exchanged phone numbers and have been talking non-stop for hours.