But as the final decision looms, they start to have second thoughts and often shift their thinking to the potential negative impact that leaving the marriage will have.There could be financial concerns, family concerns, concerns about their future with their affair partner or other issues that are now weighing on the mind of the cheater.You’re preoccupied with the relationship and highly attuned to your partner, worrying that he or she wants less closeness.
That is, do they want to leave their wife and family for their affair partner, or do they want to end the affair and remain in the marriage?
To a large degree, the cheater is feeling ambivalent and uncertain.
There are a few things that are going through the mind of a cheater that might explain their wishy-washiness.
Quite often the person having an affair doesn’t really have a clue of what they want to do following the discovery of their affair.
You’re also responsive to those of your partner and try to meet your partner’s needs. To maintain a positive connection, you give up your needs to please and accommodate your partner in.